What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
11.06.2025 03:50
I know ,a lot about trauma.
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
Have you experimented with bestiality?
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
(And it was in our own minds.)
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
Why is our generation so unhappy?
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
I could never make a relationship work though!
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
Subway owner buys popular chicken chain in $1 billion deal - PennLive.com
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
Ive learnt so much.
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
There’s a place where humans are evolving right before our eyes - Boy Genius Report
I never cut or harmed myself..
They are buried together, in the same grave..
On the 31st of Jan this month .
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
He knew the spot.
Rashod Bateman Signs Contract Extension - Baltimore Ravens
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
When she asked me how she looked .
3 keys to success every Citadel intern learns their first week on the job - Business Insider
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
Put me off passion for life!!
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
designing for ‘abundance,’ with ecological landscaper kelly norris - A Way To Garden
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
Popular chicken chain shares, massive expansion plan - TheStreet
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
This is how, and why children get BPD.
I will be 64.
What are the best Jewish jokes?
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
He was dying to do it , i knew.
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
How can I decorate my house creatively?
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
And who doesn’t know suffering?
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
The only rule us 5 kids had .
Where the ultimate outsiders.
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
She was in good health!
I had hoped to write a book about this .
Especially a lifetime of it.
We were not on the streets..
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
Im still living with it.
But ive been too sick for many years..
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
All the time i was locked up.
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
I was very sick at this time too.
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
Why did i forgive my father ?
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
I couldn’t, believe it.
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
I was 9 years of age.
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
I was scared of men, in general
He resisted the act ,that day.
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
She wouldn,t have been !
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
Who then, do I blame.?
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
We all went to grammer schools
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
She loved him until the end.
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
I said to her
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
My life is so biszare .
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
I waited trembling.
This is soul school!.
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
But it wasn’t much.
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
Comes on , in middle age.
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
One cannot live in the past .
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
So, i spoilt her more .
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
It was going to be , some day.
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
Was to survive, this bastard.
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
My mum and dad in the seventies!
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
I did it because my mum asked me too!
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
Would this be the day?
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
I don,t even have a pension.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
So whats the point in blame.
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
What did i know ?
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
I think the readers, may guess!
My family never makes their pension either.
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
Im dying but, im not bitter.
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
And i lived it daily.
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
As i do to all so called friends.?
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
I was seconnd youngest,
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
She found it foreign!.
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
I have no regrets .
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
But, we were locked up after school.
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
I write beautiful poetry .
She married twice! .
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.